who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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