Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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