so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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