i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Say something about gay babies.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
