so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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