It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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