I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize