So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
we have officially lost it.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My cat gives me a boner
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
