The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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