I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
