I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
