im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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