And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
