shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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