If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
