the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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