I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
