I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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