i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
