she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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