I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize