I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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