You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
A+ Viking dick
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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