Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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