Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
