You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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