I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
