I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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