reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize