it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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