In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
