How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
