i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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