we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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