Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
