Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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