Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
