Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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