When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
did i walk over a car last night?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
