We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
