i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
