I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
