btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
