i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
