Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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