i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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