you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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