There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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