I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
