I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You can't motorboat a personality
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
