are you still at the devil's house?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
