i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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