so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize