They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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