Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
