She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
