is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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