Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
